Being a supporter of non-violence and being around my mom who hits me, I don't believe that corporal punishment is acceptable. It is not effective for every child, and it certainly didn't affect me.
Children are hard to raise. The adolescent, young brain-developing years seemed to be one of, if not the easiest times of raising these restless critters. Once they age into teens, however, they slowly transform into semi-autonomous beings who tries to flaunt their “independence”. Most parents feel that when they discipline their children through yelling and hitting, they will pay closer attention to their discipline and understand the error of their ways, but instead, it only exacerbates the problem even further. It doesn’t matter if a child is the biggest brat in existence to the parent, it is never acceptable to either put their hands or even yell at their children. We children can do without the ridiculous amount of animosity, because corporal punishment is a harmful way of raising a child.
When parents yell at their children, it activates their child’s sensitive limbic system--The part of our brains that controls our emotions, and they enter this mode called fight, flight or freeze. In this state, their ability to learn or retain our rage-induced information spiel shuts down. (Moglen, What Happens When Parents Yell at Their Children). If they’re young, they cry. If they are teens, they will roll their eyes and talk back. Most children do not understand the reason for our anger, mostly because it was a mistake they made or they are not understanding the reason why we yell, which leads to the next point.
The child might even dislike the parent from the excessive yelling, and can even become frightened of them. “They’ve done studies where people were filmed yelling. When it is played back to the subjects, they can not believe how twisted their faces got. “ says Dr. Markham. (Stern, What Am I Doing to My Kid when I Yell?) Now, yelling is a different story, but when it comes to physical punishment, that is a much more serious one.
Now, it is understood that when the child may be mouthing off and being extremely disrespectful, the parent usually gives them a good smack in the mouth. However, has the parent asked: “How should I punish this child of mine without smacking them?” Because when a parent tries to get children to behave better by hitting them, that parent is telling them that hitting people who are smaller and weaker than you is an acceptable way of getting what you want from them. (Cummins, This is What Happens When you hit your Kids). This raises some children to become bullies at school or even abusers when they become adults. When parents hit, they get a slight relief because they released their pent up anger out on that poor, defenseless child, and when spanking is repeated over and over, one message is driven home to the child, “You are weak.” (Ask Dr. Sears) Also, hitting a child is asking them to hate the parent and foster a broken relationship with them. The last thing a parent would want from their child is to be hated.
In conclusion, us parents may think that constant yelling and beatings are doing wonders to our child’s upbringing, but in reality, it’s making our children much worse. More positive reinforcement such as giving treats to your child or even talking politely can still help them learn while also being receptive to the information. Save all that stress and anger for the punching bags, parents.
Stern, Johnathan. What Am I Doing to My Kid When I Yell?, Fatherly. 29th Oct, 2019
Moglen, Laurel, What Happens WHen Parents Yell at Children. The Mother Company. 7th Oct, 2013
Cummins, Denise. This is What Happens When you hit your Kids. Psychology Today. 14th Sept, 2014
10 Reasons Not to Hit Your Child. Ask Dr. Sears. 2019
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